Pineapples, sunshine, and despair.

I've sent these emails to a former prof:

Date:	Thu, 24 Mar 2011 5:12 pm
Subject:	Hello!
I am just emailing you to let you know you that if I should ever descend into madness because of too much stress from school work and get put into a mental institution and then ran away after 6 month and decide to go on a killing spree to exact my revenge on the world, I would kill you last. You're welcome.

Date:	Wed, 04 May 2011 7:28 pm
Subject:	memories
I have a lot of fond memories of being in your class. My favourite is when I would completely tune you out and think about unicorns. If unicorns existed, naturally unicorn jousting would exist as well. I think you would have made a fine unicorn jouster. People would come watch your unicorn jousting and say "that guy is a fine unicorn jouster." Of course you wouldn't be the best unicorn jouster so you would still have to keep your day job.

Date:	Sat, 21 May 2011 6:11 pm
Subject:	Cookies also make my day better
It was nice running into you yesterday. The days that I see you always become up to 0.018% better, sometimes. I remember I was really sad once and I thought “You know what would make this day up to 0.018% better, probably? Seeing him.” But I did not see you and my day did not become up to 0.018% better. Don’t worry though, I forgave you. I'd like to think that if we just met randomly we would have become quick friends, like the kind that plan to write a comic book together but never get around to it because they're lazy and procrastinate. When we would get together to congregate you would laugh at my storyline and I would laugh at your attempts of drawing and you would laugh that someone under the age of 70 uses the word "congregate".

Date:	Sun, 12 Jun 2011 4:36 pm
Subject:	brains
Sometimes when I walk on campus in the evenings when it's dark and deserted I like to pretend we all live in a post-apocalyptic world overrun by zombies, every day a fight for survival. I'd like to think I would be able to survive fairly well for a while. Eventually of course I would trip and fall on my face whilst a zombie is chasing me, get bit, and turn into a zombie myself. After I get turned into a zombie I would come find you because I’d like to eat you. I think you would taste good, like pineapples and sunshine and despair. Date:  Tue, 09 Aug 2011 11:14 pm Subject:  Carnivàle I’m currently watching a show about a carnival and it makes me sad that the carnival doesn’t come to town anymore. I mean we have stuff like the circus and Capital Ex but it’s just not the same. There isn’t that aura of strangeness and that sense of wonder that makes you feel like a kid again. Only a carnival can do that. I think it is tragic that people can’t get their cards read and their future foretold, can’t ogle the bearded lady and watch some guy deep-throat a sword, can’t throw rocks at other people’s children who are being too loud...can’t do all of these things in one wonderful, magical place. Tragic. After I find a stable, well paying job with my Arts degree I think I’m going to save up money to revive the carnival. I'm writing you to let you know that if you should ever grow weary of the idleness of a “normal” life, you would be more than welcome to join my carnival. I am positive that you would make a splendid carnie (with a bit of training, of course)! Date:  Wed, 10 Aug 2011 09:36 am Subject:  I want a giraffe Speaking of Capital EX, did you go this year? I did. I ended up with a sunburn and about $97.50 less in my pocket. Basically, ‘twas awesome. There is nothing I love more than going on a good ride. I especially enjoyed the upside down ones. Although it doesn’t really feel like you’re going upside down, it feels like the rest of the world is. It’s not you that’s spinning; it’s everything and everyone else. Funny how our perception can sometimes make it feel like the world revolves around us. The only thing that could have made that day better was giraffes. And maybe if there was less people. I don’t like people.
Date:	Wed, 10 Aug 2011 12:11 pm
Subject:	Raisins are the crocs of the food world
Someone offered me chocolate-covered raisins yesterday. Needless to say, the person and I are no longer friends. I imagine the thought process of the first person to eat a raisin was something along the lines of “Instead of eating this beautiful, delicious fruit that the angels call ‘grape’ in the natural way that God intended it to be eaten, I shall leave it out in the sun to dry up and die. Then I can feast on its carcass like some sort of wild, deranged animal.” Or maybe I am wrong, maybe it was simply “This looks like rat droppings; I think I’ll eat it.” Either way, I shall never understand the rational behind raisins. Nevertheless, I would probably eat a few raisins for you to show that we are friends. Probably.

 He still hasn't asked me out, what am I doing wrong?

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Well played, Google, well played.

I can't find it!

Yes please!

Either they are real and Jesus used them as a means of transport, or they're fake and the CIA made them up.

They may be microwaves, but at least they're not purple.

As a giraffe fan, I find this disheartening.

"Damn it, man, I'm an astronaut not a fish inspector."

The end is nigh.

What else do they have to do all day?

"Whee!"

Numbers are sexy.

Jesus is my magical homeboy who's kind of a jerk.

Return of the Jedi: Under the Sea Edition.

The evil, godlike utensils of Satan.

Beware.

I'm getting hungry.

This has been helpful.

The dark is scary.

But dragons are scarier.

They really are. (If you're a professor I don't mean you, I mean those other professors...)

I've always wanted a Canadian to call my own.

First they make fun of us, then they pretend to be us.

...

He only published one book.

My Weaponized Little Pony™

 This one is my favourite.

Geek it up!

Are you bored? Do you have nothing to do? Do you resort to spending your days having philosophical debates with your plants? Then it's time to embrace your inner geek and try these 15 fun-filled activities!

15. Do calculus.

What you need: Some calculus problems.

Pluses: Realizing you're so smart, you can do calculus.

Possible drawbacks: Realizing you’re so stupid, you can’t do calculus.

14. Read comic books. 

What you need: Comic books. Love of reading.

Pluses: Acquiring a comic book collection. And if you're a guy, not only does it give you a sense of achievement but the ladies love it.

Possible drawbacks: Paper cuts.

13. Have a Star Trek marathon. 

What you need: Star Trek on DVD, digitally remastered. Or a friend who has Star Trek on DVD, digitally remastered.

Pluses: Helps you brush up on you Klingon.

Possible drawbacks: Sitting too close to the TV → blindness → never being able to see another Star Trek episode/movie ever again.

12. Reenact fight scenes from Lord of the Rings with weapons made from cardboard. 

What you need: Cardboard. Duct tape.

Pluses: You can tape it and put it up on YouTube.

Possible drawbacks: Having to read YouTube comments.

11. Think up your own superhero complete with awesome powers and a storyline that would fit into the Marvel Universe. 

What you need: Some knowledge of the Marvel Universe. Creativity.

Pluses: You can live vicariously through your hero or heroine.

Possible drawbacks: Not having your hero/heroine accepted, leading you to depression and a questioning of your own self-worth.

10. Have a whole conversation in binary.

What you need: 0100101101101110011011110111011101101100011001010110010001100111011001010010000001101111011001100010000001100010011010010110111001100001011100100111100100101110

Pluses: 0101100101101111011101010010000001110011011011110111010101101110011001000010000001100011011011110110111101101100011001010111001000101110
Possible drawbacks: 01000011011011110110111001110110011001010111001001110011011000010111010001101001011011110110111001110011001000000111010001100101011011100110010000100000011101000110111100100000011101000110000101101011011001010010000001101100011011110110111001100111011001010111001000101110

9. Attend a Renaissance faire. 

What you need: A city cool enough to have Renaissance faires. A costume.

Pluses: You get to wear a costume.

Possible drawbacks: Having have to eat haggis.

8. Memorize all the lines to Monty Python and the Holy Grail.

What you need: The movie.

Pluses: You can amaze your friends with your impressive knowledge. You can also make such fun challenges for yourself as speaking only in Monty Python lines and seeing how long it takes before your friends are annoyed that you're speaking only in Monty Python lines.

Possible drawbacks: Having your friends annoyed that you're speaking only in Monty Python lines.

7. Play World of Warcraft.

What you need: The Internet. A parent's basement. A desire to waste countless hours of your life.

Pluses: None.

Possible drawbacks: Realizing you're playing WoW.

6. Play Dungeons and Dragons.

What you need: Dice. Friends.

Pluses: It's slightly less embarrassing than WoW.

Possible drawbacks: Realizing you don't have friends.

5. Play video or computer games.

What you need: Video or computer games.

Pluses: Trains your hand-eye coordination and/or strategy skills.

Possible drawbacks: Carpal tunnel syndrome.

4. Build a robot or make your very own AI.

What you need: Knowledge of what you need to build a robot or AI.

Pluses: With a bit of practice, you can eventually create an AI so powerful it becomes self-aware.

Possible drawbacks: The now self-aware AI enslaves you.

3. Pretend you’re a wizard for a day.

What you need: No aversion to annoying the f*** out of everyone. (Optional) Cloak and wizard hat.

Pluses: If you get a hat - pointy hat trick!

Drawbacks: Being "that guy" that does the pointy hat trick.

2. Watch Spider Man 3 and write down all the plot-holes and inaccuracies. Then blog about it angrily. 

What you need: Paper. Writing utensil. Blog. Lots of pent up anger.

Pluses: You can finally release your indignation and feel a little better.

Possible drawbacks: Being a blogger.

1. Dress up into your favourite Star Wars characters and do some role-playing in the bedroom. In fact, if you haven’t done this one yet you can’t really call yourself a true geek.

What you need: At least one other person, you can have more (the more the merrier). Imagination!

Pluses: Being able to act out all your wild, geeky fantasies.

Possible Drawbacks: None come to mind.

Most Powerful Thing

This post is dedicated to Valentine's Day which I meant to post then but was 
busy so I didn't but you can go ahead and pretend that I did.

(Background from: http://www.allbackgrounds.com/)

Do these tweets make me look crazy?

(For non-twitter people: If you like someone's tweet you can "favourite" it, which gives the tweet a gold star. There is also a site, favstar, that shows how many stars each tweet and each person receives. For example: sucittaM's page.)