Song 5: Little Lying Man

(To the tune of Little Lion Man)

Weep for yourself, my man,
You'll never be living here again
Weep, little lying man,
You're not as sly as you were at the start
Caught you steal and caught you lie
Take all the stuff that you have left

Get the hell out of here and don’t come back or I’ll take off your head

But it was not your booze but mine

Oh yes, you stepped quite out of line

You’re really moving out this time

Don’t you touch my beer

Don’t you touch my beer

Tremble for yourself, my man,

You know that I have caught you steal before
Tremble, little lying man,
I’ll be changing the lock upon my door
Your face isn’t wanted in this place,
Your stupid mess has made this home a wreck
Now leave from this house or else spend your days worrying for your neck

But it was not your booze but mine

Oh yes, you stepped quite out of line

You’re really moving out this time

Don’t you touch my beer

But it was not your booze but mine

Oh yes, you stepped quite out of line

You’re really moving out this time

Don’t you touch my beer

Don’t you touch my beer

[harmonizing]

But it was not your booze but mine

Oh yes, you stepped quite out of line

You’re really moving out this time

Don’t you touch my beer

But it was not your booze but mine

Oh yes, you stepped quite out of line

You’re really moving out this time

Don’t you touch my beer

Don’t you touch my beer

Song 4: I Kissed a Prof

(To the tune of I Kissed a Girl)

Your office was not what I planned
Lost my direction
I got so brave, books in hand
Screw all discretion
It's not what, I'm used to
Just wanna try you on
Hope it does not come to
The dean’s attention

I kissed a prof and I liked it
The feel of his soft tweed jacket
I kissed a prof just to try it
I hope that the dean don't mind it
It felt so wrong
It felt so right
Hope I’m not expelled tonight
I kissed a prof and I liked it
I liked it

No, I’m not even in your class
It doesn't matter
Not doing this just for a pass
Just student nature
It's not what, good girls do
Not how they should behave
Uni rules get me so confused
Hard to obey

I kissed a prof and I liked it
The feel of his soft tweed jacket
I kissed a prof just to try it
I hope that the dean don't mind it
It felt so wrong
It felt so right
Hope I’m not expelled tonight
I kissed a prof and I liked it
I liked it

Those profs they are so knowledgeable
So smart, dorky, so kissable
Elbow patches so touchable
Too good to deny it
Ain't no big deal, it's innocent

I kissed a prof and I liked it
The feel of his soft tweed jacket
I kissed a prof just to try it
I hope that the dean don't mind it
It felt so wrong
It felt so right
Hope I’m not expelled tonight
I kissed a prof and I liked it
I liked it

Song 3: Little Rocket Launcher

Dedicated to HindSight5050

(To the tune of Pocket Full of Sunshine)

I got a little, got a little rocket launcher.
Don’t piss me off or I will launch stuff at ya. Oh, oh, oh, oh.
Do what you want, but you're never gonna break me.
Rocket launcher will always protect me. Oh, oh, oh, oh.

Rocket launcher, for any day.
Your enemies, them it will slay.
Rocket launcher, for any place.
Rocket launcher, you I embrace.

I got a little, got a little rocket launcher.
Don’t piss me off or I will launch stuff at ya. Oh, oh, oh, oh.
Do what you want, but you're never gonna break me.
Rocket launcher will always protect me. Oh, oh, oh, oh.

I got a little, got a little rocket launcher.
Don’t piss me off or I will launch stuff at ya. Oh, oh, oh, oh.
Wish that you could, but cha ain't gonna own me.
With rockets launched no one can control me. Oh, oh, oh, oh.

Rocket launcher, for any day.
Your enemies, them it will slay.
Rocket launcher, for any place.
Rocket launcher, you I embrace.

And wherever I go now everyone knows,
That I am a pro, at launching rockets.
And there’s no more lies; because if I find out,
Then everyone cries, when my cool rocket flies.

Rocket launcher, for any day.
Your enemies, them it will slay.
Rocket launcher, for any place.
Rocket launcher, you I embrace.

Rocket launcher, for any day.
Your enemies, them it will slay.
Rocket launcher, for any place.
Rocket launcher, you I embrace.

Rocket launcher, for any day.
Your enemies, them it will slay.
Rocket launcher, for any place.
Rocket launcher, you I embrace.

With rockets on my side.
Nowhere you can hide
I smile at my launcher.
I know I'll be all right.

With rockets on my side.
Nowhere you can hide
I smile at my launcher.
I know I'll be all right.

Song 2: Favourite Things

Wilting black roses and strangling kittens
Bright copper weapons and dirty ol' mittens
Evil debauchery tied up with sins
These are a few of my favourite things

Torturing ponies and killing off poodles
Feeding kids bitter and poisonous noodles
Wild geese attempting flight with broken wings
These are a few of my favourite things

Girls in torn dresses with deep bloody gashes
Fire that burns off my nose and eyelashes
Acidic substance that melts into skins
These are a few of my favourite things

When I get caught
Cheating on you
When I'm feeling sad
I simply steal some of my favourite things
And then I don't feel so bad

Song 1: Julie doesn't know.

Julie doesn't know.
(To the tune of Scotty Doesn't Know.)

In memory of Gaius Julius Cæsar.

Hey!!!

Julie doesn’t know that Brutus and co
Conspire against him every Sunday.
Say they’re in bath houses,
But they just don’t go,
Still they’re out plotting and…

Julie doesn’t know, oh,
Julie doesn't know-oh.
So don't tell Julie,
Julie doesn't know,
Julie doesn't know.
SO DON'T TELL JULIE!

They say they’re in the forum, shopping,
But they’re scheming hard and they’re not stopping.

Cause Julie doesn’t know,
Julie doesn't know,
Julie doesn't know,
Julie doesn't know,
So don't tell Julie,
Julie doesn't knooooow...
DON'T TELL JULIE!

I can’t believe he’s so trusting,
Their daggers they’ll pull out, thrusting.
Killing him while he’s alone,
Stifling out any last moan,
It’s a mutiny and he knows nothing,
NOTHING!

Julie doesn't know,
Julie doesn't know,
Julie doesn't know,
Don't tell Julie,
Cause Julie doesn't know,
Julie doesn't knooooow...
SO DON'T TELL JULIE!

‘Twill be a bloody show,
The senators stoop low,
Julie doesn't know,
Julie doesn't know,
Julie doesn't know….

The, portico, why not?
Never even reached the top…
The theatre, what a blow,
Stabbing so hard, oh
Julie doesn't know,
Julie doesn't know!

Betrayed on the Ides of March.

Julie doesn't know,
Julie doesn't know,
Julie doesn't know,
Julie doesn't know,
Don't tell Julie.
Julie doesn't knooooow....

Julie will know,
Julie has to know,
Julie's gotta know,
Gonna tell Julie,
Gonna tell him myself.

Julie has to know,
Julie has to know,
Julie has to,
Julie has to,
Julie has to go!

Julie doesn't know,
(Don't tell Julie)
Julie doesn't know,
(Don't tell Julie)
Julie doesn't know...
Julie's gotta go!