Stuff and Things

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Do these tweets make me look crazy?

(For non-twitter people: If you like someone's tweet you can "favourite" it, which gives the tweet a gold star. There is also a site, favstar, that shows how many stars each tweet and each person receives. For example: sucittaM's page.)

Monday, December 20, 2010

Communism and Other Reasons to Hate Santa

Here are my top ten reasons to hate Santa (I'm sure you can think of more):

10. He’s judgmental. Why should he decide who is naughty or nice? Or, indeed, what should constitute as being ‘naughty’ and being ‘nice’? Who does he think he is?

9. Worker exploitation. Those poor little elves get no health benefits, no paid vacation, nothing!

8. He’s a stalker.

7. He leads decent women to sin. How many kids have spotted their mommy kissing Santa Claus? It is not right to treat another man's wife as your personal “hoe hoe hoe.”

6. Animal Cruelty. How would you like to be forced to fly around the whole bloody world?

5. He is just plain creepy. I don't want to say he's a pedophile, but it's not right asking little kids to sit on your lap and then say stuff like “Have you been a naughty girl?” He even keeps a “list” of all our children. Personally, I find that all sorts of sinister.

4. His name is just one letter placement away from Satan. Coincidence? Well, yes, probably, but I still feel that it should be noted.

3. He’s a drug dealer. I mean, how else would he get the capital? If you think milk and cookies go far in this economy, think again! And he no doubt uses those drugs himself.

"Santa goes around the world in one night without stopping? Meth is Santa's Little Helper." - @Paxochka

2. Breaking and entering. In a civilized society, that’s considered a crime.

1. He’s a communist. The red suit, the red sack, the favouring of Rudolf because he has a red nose. And no matter how much or how little an elf works they all get an equal wage.

So Merry Christmas to you too, but know that we’re on to you, Komrade Kringle.

Thursday, November 11, 2010

Song 4: I Kissed a Prof

(To the tune of I Kissed a Girl)

Your office was not what I planned
Lost my direction
I got so brave, books in hand
Screw all discretion
It's not what, I'm used to
Just wanna try you on
Hope it does not come to
The dean’s attention

I kissed a prof and I liked it
The feel of his soft tweed jacket
I kissed a prof just to try it
I hope that the dean don't mind it
It felt so wrong
It felt so right
Hope I’m not expelled tonight
I kissed a prof and I liked it
I liked it

No, I’m not even in your class
It doesn't matter
Not doing this just for a pass
Just student nature
It's not what, good girls do
Not how they should behave
Uni rules get me so confused
Hard to obey

I kissed a prof and I liked it
The feel of his soft tweed jacket
I kissed a prof just to try it
I hope that the dean don't mind it
It felt so wrong
It felt so right
Hope I’m not expelled tonight
I kissed a prof and I liked it
I liked it

Those profs they are so knowledgeable
So smart, dorky, so kissable
Elbow patches so touchable
Too good to deny it
Ain't no big deal, it's innocent

I kissed a prof and I liked it
The feel of his soft tweed jacket
I kissed a prof just to try it
I hope that the dean don't mind it
It felt so wrong
It felt so right
Hope I’m not expelled tonight
I kissed a prof and I liked it
I liked it