Salad Fingers

This is the sweetest, most delightful cartoon to ever grace my screen. They have 8 short episodes so far and I am very patiently waiting for the next installment. I encourage everyone to check it out:

http://www.fat-pie.com/salad.htm

Some of its finer moments:

“I’d like to elect you as my new playmate.”
After eating sand: “...the floor sugar does taste rather queer in this area.”
“Today, I’m going to try and find France.”
“Oh! How I’ve dreamt of taps...”
“Lock up your daughters tonight, General, there’ll be trouble in the maidens’ quarters.”
“...do you not like my mouth words?”
“I hope you like sand.”
Upon pricking a finger: “I like it when the red water comes out.”

Post Graduation Plans

These are listed in order from the most likely to the least likely.

1. Become a Criminal Mastermind.
2. Write a New York Times Best Seller.
3. Marry Adrien Brody.

4. Live in my parents’ basement and become the greatest WoW player the world has ever seen.
5. Get a sex change in order to join the Freemasonry.
6. World Domination.
7. Alchemy. (The art of turning something shiny into something even shinier.)
8. Grad school.
9. Fulfill my childhood dream of becoming a giraffe farmer when I grow up.
10. Work at a respectable job like some sort of normal person.

Customer Satisfaction

After providing a “service” to others wouldn’t it be nice to have a formal way of knowing how you did your job?* Where you went wrong, and where you can improve? Well now you do! Just ask the serviced party to fill out the survey below. Don’t hesitate to fill out a survey for them in return; they’ll thank you for it!

After receiving your survey back it is expected that you will use the results to self-improve, especially if the serviced party plans a return visit unless a) the serviced party is much worse at this than you are and clearly don’t know what they are talking about or b) you don’t really feel like it.

Customer Satisfaction Survey**
Page 1 (click image to enlarge):



Page 2:



*Yes it would.
**Customarily meant for two or more participants. Can still be used if there was only one, but please note that rating yourself is kind of sad.

Art 3: A pic of...some animal

Date: 2003
Medium: Watercolour Pencils
Size: 15 x 22

Things I wish I invented first.

21. The Wheel
20. Tinfoil
19. Beer
18. Bubblewrap
17. Harry Potter
16. Clocks
15. Facebook
14. The Interrobang
13. Floss
12. Calculus
11. Mirrors
10. Blogging
9. Religion
8. The Violin
7. New Zealanders
6. Quantum Mechanics
5. Duct Tape
4. Chess
3. Spellcheck
2. Giraffes
1. This Knife Holder:

Does Size Matter?

I have been debating this for a while now. I feel that the smaller ones are easier to grip in your hand and move back an forth, however, the bigger ones seem more satisfying to mate with. At the end of the day though, as long as I win I don't think it really matters what size the chess pieces are. How about you, fellow chess players? Do you have a preference for size?

Art 2: Ship

Date: 2004
Medium: pencil crayons
Size: 8.25 x 5

I like this one...possibly because I like pictures of ships. Not the ships themselves, mind you, just pictures of them. I copied this from a pic I got of the Internet. The only thing I changed was the flag from whichever boring country it was to a pirates' flag.