Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Does Size Matter?

I have been debating this for a while now. I feel that the smaller ones are easier to grip in your hand and move back an forth, however, the bigger ones seem more satisfying to mate with. At the end of the day though, as long as I win I don't think it really matters what size the chess pieces are. How about you, fellow chess players? Do you have a preference for size?

Monday, March 22, 2010

Art 2: Ship


Date: 2004
Medium: pencil crayons
Size: 8.25 x 5

I like this one...possibly because I like pictures of ships. Not the ships themselves, mind you, just pictures of them. I copied this from a pic I got of the Internet. The only thing I changed was the flag from whichever boring country it was to a pirates' flag.

Monday, March 15, 2010

Song 1: Julie doesn't know.

Julie doesn't know.
(To the tune of Scotty Doesn't Know.)

In memory of Gaius Julius C├Žsar.

Hey!!!

Julie doesn’t know that Brutus and co
Conspire against him every Sunday.
Say they’re in bath houses,
But they just don’t go,
Still they’re out plotting and…

Julie doesn’t know, oh,
Julie doesn't know-oh.
So don't tell Julie,
Julie doesn't know,
Julie doesn't know.
SO DON'T TELL JULIE!

They say they’re in the forum, shopping,
But they’re scheming hard and they’re not stopping.

Cause Julie doesn’t know,
Julie doesn't know,
Julie doesn't know,
Julie doesn't know,
So don't tell Julie,
Julie doesn't knooooow...
DON'T TELL JULIE!

I can’t believe he’s so trusting,
Their daggers they’ll pull out, thrusting.
Killing him while he’s alone,
Stifling out any last moan,
It’s a mutiny and he knows nothing,
NOTHING!

Julie doesn't know,
Julie doesn't know,
Julie doesn't know,
Don't tell Julie,
Cause Julie doesn't know,
Julie doesn't knooooow...
SO DON'T TELL JULIE!

‘Twill be a bloody show,
The senators stoop low,
Julie doesn't know,
Julie doesn't know,
Julie doesn't know….

The, portico, why not?
Never even reached the top…
The theatre, what a blow,
Stabbing so hard, oh
Julie doesn't know,
Julie doesn't know!

Betrayed on the Ides of March.

Julie doesn't know,
Julie doesn't know,
Julie doesn't know,
Julie doesn't know,
Don't tell Julie.
Julie doesn't knooooow....

Julie will know,
Julie has to know,
Julie's gotta know,
Gonna tell Julie,
Gonna tell him myself.

Julie has to know,
Julie has to know,
Julie has to,
Julie has to,
Julie has to go!

Julie doesn't know,
(Don't tell Julie)
Julie doesn't know,
(Don't tell Julie)
Julie doesn't know...
Julie's gotta go!

Sunday, March 14, 2010

Tomorrow Be Ides of March

Ah, Ides of March, the anniversary date of Caesar’s assassination and my favourite holiday after Flag Day. Most people I have talked to seem to be on the side of the traitors murderers republicans. Personally, I feel that stabbing someone unannounced is kind of rude. However, I do understand why the senate did it, and it is not because Caesar had too much power or some such, that’s just a cover up. The real reason he was killed is because he broke the bro-code by sleeping with their wives/mothers/et cetera, which kind of pissed them off...

Now you know the truth behind Caesar’s death. You’re welcome.

By the way, tomorrow I shall be posting a song I wrote in Caesar’s honour, partly inspired by Rinse the Blood Off My Toga. (Check out the vid, it’s pretty funny.)

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

Surveys, Why I Love Them

They provide an excellent service of giving people the false sense that their opinions matter. Through but a checking of a few boxes, and some well thought out short answers, every little man can now feel important and sleep soundly knowing that his voice was heard. They also give me a great opportunity for self-amusement.

Got an email a few days ago: “The Globe and Mail invites you to participate in a national survey that will provide information for the 2011 Globe and Mail Canadian University Report (CUR).” I stopped the less important things I was doing (studying for a midterm) and ran off to take it at once.


5. What are the best or worst things about the academic experience you receive?

Best – that time I slept with that gorgeous prof. Worst – he failed me anyway.

33. What is the best kept secret about your institution that should be better known?

There is a secret wardrobe on the third floor of the Biological Sciences building which leads to a magical land of lions and witches and creatures alike.

34. What programs at your institution should be widely recognized for excellence?

The ones that show excellence.

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I was just kidding about number 5 by the way.....he didn't fail me.

Sunday, March 7, 2010

Diary Excerpt 4: Sales People, Why I Hate Them

Saturday. February 13, 2010

Went to buy a bra today. Sales lady comes up.

“No no, this is totally not the right bra for your style, it doesn’t suit you at all...no no, this one would be better…don’t go for that one, that’s no good...no no, that's not the right size...this one is perfect, buy this one.”

I cannot begin to express how happy I am there was someone there to inform me what my style is, as clearly years of bra-wearing experience was not sufficient enough for me to learn of it. If only they got commission for being extra-annoying to the customers - she would be one rich lady. I had to resist telling her “No no, this is totally not the right job for your working style, it doesn’t suit you at all.”



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She didn't even let me try on what I wanted...speaking of bras though, I would *love* to know who designed this: