Saturday, May 29, 2010

Salad Fingers

This is the sweetest, most delightful cartoon to ever grace my screen. They have 8 short episodes so far and I am very patiently waiting for the next installment. I encourage everyone to check it out:

Some of its finer moments:

“I’d like to elect you as my new playmate.”
After eating sand: “...the floor sugar does taste rather queer in this area.”
“Today, I’m going to try and find France.”
“Oh! How I’ve dreamt of taps...”
“Lock up your daughters tonight, General, there’ll be trouble in the maidens’ quarters.”
“ you not like my mouth words?”
“I hope you like sand.”
Upon pricking a finger: “I like it when the red water comes out.”

Sunday, May 23, 2010

Post Graduation Plans

These are listed in order from the most likely to the least likely.

1. Become a Criminal Mastermind.
2. Write a New York Times Best Seller.
3. Marry Adrien Brody.

4. Live in my parents’ basement and become the greatest WoW player the world has ever seen.
5. Get a sex change in order to join the Freemasonry.
6. World Domination.
7. Alchemy. (The art of turning something shiny into something even shinier.)
8. Grad school.
9. Fulfill my childhood dream of becoming a giraffe farmer when I grow up.
10. Work at a respectable job like some sort of normal person.

Thursday, May 13, 2010

Customer Satisfaction

After providing a “service” to others wouldn’t it be nice to have a formal way of knowing how you did your job?* Where you went wrong, and where you can improve? Well now you do! Just ask the serviced party to fill out the survey below. Don’t hesitate to fill out a survey for them in return; they’ll thank you for it!

After receiving your survey back it is expected that you will use the results to self-improve, especially if the serviced party plans a return visit unless a) the serviced party is much worse at this than you are and clearly don’t know what they are talking about or b) you don’t really feel like it.

Customer Satisfaction Survey**

Page 1 (click image to enlarge):

Page 2:

*Yes it would.
**Customarily meant for two or more participants. Can still be used if there was only one, but please note that rating yourself is kind of sad.