Wednesday, April 27, 2016

Pineapples, sunshine, and despair. Pt.2

Part 1

From: Anastasia
Date: July 28, 2015
Subject: Night Vale

Sorry I have not written in a while, but I have been pretty busy the past few years with things like grad school, job hunting, Santeria, Netflix, making somebody love me, looking up pictures of baby giraffes, and for one brief moment considering getting into quiling but eventually deciding against it. Lately, I've been listening to a neat podcast called Welcome to Night Vale. I don't know if you've ever heard it, but there is a character on there named Carlos and he immediately reminded me of your existence. Based on Carlos' description in this neat podcast I think you'd look like him if you just wore a lab coat, grew out your hair, and looked completely different in every single way.

I am thinking of starting my own podcast about life in Canada and the delicate art of warming an igloo. Would you like to be a voice actor on it? I hope not, because I already have someone in mind. But if he falls through, I have two other backup people in mind. If you have igloo warming experience and are interested in writing for my podcast, let me know by whispering into a tapped phone. And if you have baby giraffe pictures, send them. SEND THEM AT ONCE


From: Anastasia
Date: September 3, 2015
Subject: Psychics

I had an interesting encounter with a psychic today. She said "Would you like your future read?" and I said "No, thank you." and then she said "Ok have a nice day."

I am not sure if I believe in the whole fate ordeal. I mean, I know we were clearly always meant to be the good friends that we are now, but other than that I'd like to think we create our own futures. Sad, disappointing futures.


From: Anastasia
Date: September 3, 2015
Subject: Bucket List

Wooden
Metal
Plastic
Ceremonial
Mop
Excavator
Pail


From: Anastasia
Date: October 21, 2015
Subject: Note

I went by your office the other day and left a post-it note on your door. I did not leave an actual note on the post-it note because I feel that we understand each other in such a way, that words are not necessary. Feel free to use the post-it note to write your own note on it, or keep it as a comforting reminder that I occasionally come to your door and press my ear against it to listen to you breathing, then quietly leave without alerting you to my presence. On Tuesdays, weather permitting, I also watch you from the shadows as you walk to class. You have an excellent gait - but I'm sure you hear that all the time.


From: Anastasia
Date: January 16, 2016
Subject: Poke

I messaged my friend on facebook the other day and he did not reply so I "poked" him. He still has not replied but he has "poked" me back. So now I have to find out where he lives and go to his house. The only problem is, I am not sure which small dead animal to leave on his doorstep. Birds signify love. Mice signify friendship. A squirrel means you are ready to become that crime fighting duo you always talked about. But which one would signify "hey I see you have been active on FB but have not replied to me. Is everything ok? Maybe when you have some time we can go for brinner and talk about what bastards our last employer was, am I right? Haha. Anyway, thinking of you. Give me a shout when you can. K bye."?


From: Him
Subject: Re: Poke
Date: January 16, 2016

I do not wish to have any contact, now or in the future. If you try to contact me, I will consider it harassment and take legal action.


From: Anastasia
Subject: Re: Poke
Date: January 22, 2016

I am unfamiliar with that type of animal…

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I still come here and read this stuff.
just so you know.